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Is It a Red Flag?
(Jane Eyre Edition)He accuses you of putting a spell on his horse:
Not a red flag. Insisting that the person you like has used dark magic is actually a very common method of flirting. All the kids/grown men are doing it. -
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Other Things That Could Be Called The Tortured Poets Department
- The LiveJournal community, circa 2005
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Good News, Husband:
I’ve Become a Tradwife“Remember how you told me that your childhood crush was Laura Ingalls Wilder? And that you think America is in the toilet? Well, you’re about to have all your home-churned-butter dreams come true because I’ve decided to become a tradwife.” -
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Writer Math
“If you wrote 1,000 to 5,000 words today, you can write zero words tomorrow without hating yourself. If you wrote more than 5,000 words today—no, you didn’t, or else all those words are bad.” -
The Boys Are Back in Town
(for Johnny’s Funeral)“Guess who just got back today? Mothers, lock up your daughters, because after five long decades away raising our families and building careers of varying success, those wild-eyed boys are back in town to attend our dear friend Johnny’s funeral.”
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April 5, 2024I’m the Draft List at This Brewery and No, You Can’t Have a Light Beer
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March 27, 2024Class Is Canceled Until Further Notice While I Do My Job
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April 3, 2024Emails from My Dentist That Would Actually Make Me Schedule an Appointment
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February 6, 2024My Comments Are in the Google Doc Linked in the Dropbox I Sent in the Slack
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April 16, 2024We Are Not a “School”—We Are a Hospital System with a Football Team
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March 2, 2022Selected Negative Teaching Evaluations of Jesus Christ
Interviews, Essays, and Excerpts
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April 19, 2024Letters to Moms: A Letter to Alison in Knocked Up
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April 18, 2024McSweeney’s Books: An Interview with Sam Sax About Their New Book, Yr Dead
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April 16, 2024How to Roast Your Friend Just Enough That They’ll Want to Remain Your Friend
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April 12, 2024Chronicles of a Catsitter: My Human Went to “Greece” and Left Me with This Person Who Doesn’t Give Me Treats
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April 11, 2024Short Conversations with Poets: Callie Siskel
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April 10, 2024Sorry Not Sorry: Stephen Colbert Found His Own Line with Kate Middleton
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April 9, 2024An Excerpt from Eli Burnstein’s Dictionary of Fine Distinctions
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Winner of the John Newbery Medal. "Here is a book that is truly for all ages, as only the best stories are."
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Recent Posts
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April 17, 2024What I Thought My Life Would Be Like After Decanting All My Spices into Mason Jars
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April 16, 2024We Are Not a “School”—We Are a Hospital System with a Football Team
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April 16, 2024An Open Letter to Wyna Liu, the New York Times’ Connections Editor
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April 15, 2024Your Son’s Transplant (to Brooklyn) Was Successful
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April 15, 2024Famous Literary Quotes About Love Rewritten by a Woman Whose Friends Are All Getting Married and Having Children While She Is Taking an Introduction to Ceramics Class
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